Living together with one income
Someone asked me if I was ever uncomfortable supporting BF while he went to school. Truthfully, yes. I was scared because 1) I’ve been burned that way before, 2) working together on just one income like that represents an entirely new level of relationship, and 3) I knew I would have to put my personal financial goals on hold for a while so he could achieve his.
Even though we only have a few months left before he starts making an income, it is still hard for me. It’s difficult to adjust to being independent and financially separate from anyone my entire life, to being the one that someone is depending on. And it’s just as difficult for him to have to rely on someone else. Having to take on all of the household costs was also a huge shock. When I lived alone, my expenses were a lot less. I ate less, needed less, and spent less. I never spent more than $40-50 on groceries every week, and here I am spending $100-125/week on average. I’m paying twice as much gas now, twice as much car insurance, and all of the bills. We’ve cut expenses where we can.
My weekly spending recaps and monthly budgets don’t account for BF’s minimal spending. It’s not because of any reason in particular, I’ve just never done my weekly spending recaps or budgets that way, so I never thought to include them. And then once I did finally think about it, his courses were almost over and it didn’t make sense to change to a different format just for a few months. He has been excellent in cutting down all spending except for necessities like food, insurance and bills. He takes the bus when he can, and he rarely ever goes out with his friends unless they are doing something cheap/free like day hiking or just hanging out. BF has always been kind of a spender, so I’m really happy that he’s been able to embrace a more frugal lifestyle for the past year. It has helped cut down on our costs, and will help us in the future too. :)
BF has also taken up a lot of household work without question. And that has definitely made me less stressed, especially now that I’m writing and blogging so often. Most evenings when I get home, he has dinner on the stove. He cleans and vacuums and has worked hard to make our tiny space livable by creating shelving and storage solutions. It will be an adjustment for both of us once he finishes his course and can start working!
And even though I know it’s been tough on the both of us, we’ll come out of it stronger as a couple, and on track to really make progress on our goal of home ownership, traveling, marriage and all of the other things that we’ve been dreaming about.
21 Responses to “Living together with one income”
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That's great that he's almost done. I can see how it is a sacarafice for you, but like you point out, he's helped you in non-financial ways. Also, you have such low rent due to some sort of arrangement he has, and that is a huge financial boost.
But it will be nice when you can go back to being DINKS and make quicker progress on your goals. Good luck and happy holidays to you and BF!
My recent post Year End Job Stuffs
That's great that he's almost done. I can see how it is a sacarafice for you, but like you point out, he's helped you in non-financial ways. Also, you have such low rent due to some sort of arrangement he has, and that is a huge financial boost.
But it will be nice when you can go back to being DINKS and make quicker progress on your goals. Good luck and happy holidays to you and BF!
My recent post Year End Job Stuffs
What you're doing is a lot of work! I don't know either of you but he does seem grateful and from following the blog for awhile, it seems like you're in a really good, solid relationship. I don't doubt that he would do the same for you.
My recent post No Drinks for 30 Days- Day Thirty
What you're doing is a lot of work! I don't know either of you but he does seem grateful and from following the blog for awhile, it seems like you're in a really good, solid relationship. I don't doubt that he would do the same for you.
My recent post No Drinks for 30 Days- Day Thirty
That is really nice of him to consider your feelings and financial needs during his schooling time. I had to deal with it for more than 2 years and sometimes I felt like my BF wasn't as appreciative especially when it came to chores. You are a lucky girl =)
My recent post Hiiii
That is really nice of him to consider your feelings and financial needs during his schooling time. I had to deal with it for more than 2 years and sometimes I felt like my BF wasn't as appreciative especially when it came to chores. You are a lucky girl =)
My recent post Hiiii
That's great! :) It takes a lot of trust & faith in your partner to let each other take care of each other! :) Glad that he's is almost done and I am sure both of you will appreciate this experience! It will definitely make your bond much stronger!
My recent post Pay Day!
That's great! :) It takes a lot of trust & faith in your partner to let each other take care of each other! :) Glad that he's is almost done and I am sure both of you will appreciate this experience! It will definitely make your bond much stronger!
My recent post Pay Day!
oh,man, i feel like I could have written this! thankfully your SINK status is coming to an end. I can wholly sympathise, having been there for most of the past 2 years. thankfully, he is an excellent cook although his aptitude for cleaning leaves something to be desired.
and like you, i never counted his spending into my recaps…except for this month. now he is working, he is spending a lot more, obviously and it's interesting to look at it in perspective.
My recent post Money lessons learned from my friends
oh,man, i feel like I could have written this! thankfully your SINK status is coming to an end. I can wholly sympathise, having been there for most of the past 2 years. thankfully, he is an excellent cook although his aptitude for cleaning leaves something to be desired.
and like you, i never counted his spending into my recaps…except for this month. now he is working, he is spending a lot more, obviously and it's interesting to look at it in perspective.
My recent post Money lessons learned from my friends
You two make a fabulous couple and perhaps now that he has been cutting back on his spends he may never overspend again. If you two stay on this track I see big things in your future. Well done to you both.
My recent post Working and Babysitting
You two make a fabulous couple and perhaps now that he has been cutting back on his spends he may never overspend again. If you two stay on this track I see big things in your future. Well done to you both.
My recent post Working and Babysitting
He sounds completely awesome!! Dinner on the table when you get home- wow! :)
Very excited when you will become a DINKS again!
He sounds completely awesome!! Dinner on the table when you get home- wow! :)
Very excited when you will become a DINKS again!
Having been the one who was supported during school (and mine lasted a really long time!) it is an amazing gift to your BF and your relationship to support him during this time. It will pay dividends for both of you, as he will be in a better position to make a good living, but beyond that, when you have to pull together to do something like this, you learn a lot about each other and what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it.
Having been the one who was supported during school (and mine lasted a really long time!) it is an amazing gift to your BF and your relationship to support him during this time. It will pay dividends for both of you, as he will be in a better position to make a good living, but beyond that, when you have to pull together to do something like this, you learn a lot about each other and what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it.
I think the idea here is not that the BF is awesome, YOU are! And the fact that he has dinner on the table….obviously he was home long enough to have time to do it. I hope he appreciates what you did/do for him and he will give you the respect that you deserve.
Happy holidays !:-)
I think the idea here is not that the BF is awesome, YOU are! And the fact that he has dinner on the table….obviously he was home long enough to have time to do it. I hope he appreciates what you did/do for him and he will give you the respect that you deserve.
Happy holidays !:-)
[...] quite partial to posts about living on one income, since I’ve done it for quite a while and imagine we’d do it again at some point when [...]
One of my biggest concerns in the future is going from being dinks to one income and kids. I want to prepare for it as much as I can but it is going to be difficult.
One of my biggest concerns in the future is going from being dinks to one income and kids. I want to prepare for it as much as I can but it is going to be difficult.