Give Me Back My Five Bucks

Relating to others and feeling old

This is a post inspired by Paranoid Asteroid’s post, Getting Old, and Fabulously Broke’s post about feeling awkward. I’ve touched on this topic before on this blog, and I feel like it’s something we all go through in some form.

I’m 28 and I feel old. I’m exhausted by 10pm, I don’t understand the youth of today (or most of their music), and my metabolism has slowed down to a snail’s pace. I shake angry fists of rage at hooligan drivers who are going too fast, and I find myself starting my sentences with “back when I was growing up,” way too often. It doesn’t help that I play on a field hockey team with high schoolers either.

And while I find it hard to relate to my friends who still go out until all hours of the night, are broke until pay day, maybe have entitlement issues, and perhaps aren’t as financially sound as they should be at their age – I can understand where they’re coming from because I’ve been there too. I can remember struggling to make ends meet, partying all the time, getting notices from collection agencies and wondering if my situation was ever going to change.

It’s funny. I like shows like Jersey Shore and I watch it every week, but I can’t relate to them. I talk to “grown-up” people about “grown-up” issues, but I can’t relate to them either. It seems like I struggle to find common ground with people these days. I’m more financially and professionally aware that a lot of my friends, but most of them are married or engaged or have a baby or own a house – none of which I can relate to. I can talk about a popular TV show with my group of friends, but then the topic turns to the bar they plan on going to on the weekend or wedding invitations and I’m lost. Or I’ll talk to older co-workers about mutual funds, then they’ll turn around and talk about  politics and I have nothing to say. Which leaves me feeling a bit  socially awkward, even though I’d like to think that I’m a confident person.

Sometimes I feel much older than 28, and other times I feel juvenile. And after thinking about this for a long time, I’ve come to the conclusion that it might because I’m just on that cusp of No Turning Back Adulthood – where you can’t really make that excuse of being young and carefree anymore … but you still kind of want to.

Author: Krystal Yee

I’m a personal finance blogger and marketing professional based in Vancouver. I’m a former Toronto Star (Moneyville) columnist, author of The Beginner’s Guide to Saving and Investing, and co-founder of the Canadian Personal Finance Conference. When I’m not working, you can usually find me running, climbing, playing field hockey, or plotting my next adventure.


Comments

  1. I'm right on the edge with you, girl.

    I can't hold my own in politics and I avoid discussing religion.

    No babies yet, and my friends either fall into MARRIED + HOUSE + BABY [OPTIONAL] or … SUPER SINGLE PARTY GIRL/GUY.

    I am neither.
    My recent post Are Americans Downsizing The Culture of Clutter and Statistics

  2. I'm right on the edge with you, girl.

    I can't hold my own in politics and I avoid discussing religion.

    No babies yet, and my friends either fall into MARRIED + HOUSE + BABY [OPTIONAL] or … SUPER SINGLE PARTY GIRL/GUY.

    I am neither.
    My recent post Are Americans Downsizing The Culture of Clutter and Statistics

  3. Rina says:

    Yeah I hear that. I turned 30 this year and have accepted my adulthood (and really, have never been more comfy in my own skin!) but day-um I miss the Cheers days and being glad it was 'only' 1am because that meant we had at least another couple hours to party. :/

  4. Rina says:

    Yeah I hear that. I turned 30 this year and have accepted my adulthood (and really, have never been more comfy in my own skin!) but day-um I miss the Cheers days and being glad it was 'only' 1am because that meant we had at least another couple hours to party. :/

  5. Michelle says:

    I am 38. My body sometimes feels old yet still act a lot younger than I am. I do goofy things, still shop in the junior section. Have nothing to add to politics. I am married and have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I do act responsible though. Well at least financially. Live doesn't have to get boring. Keep it fun.
    My recent post Avoiding Credit and Charge Card Fraud

  6. Michelle says:

    I am 38. My body sometimes feels old yet still act a lot younger than I am. I do goofy things, still shop in the junior section. Have nothing to add to politics. I am married and have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I do act responsible though. Well at least financially. Live doesn't have to get boring. Keep it fun.
    My recent post Avoiding Credit and Charge Card Fraud

  7. SP says:

    A lot of my friends are in different stages of life. My friends from home have all been married + house for years and just started adding the babies. I don't regularly see them anymore, too far away :( Most my friends out here are unmarried, but I still relate very well to them. Sure, T and I are married, but we still rent, still don't have kids, still do pretty much the same things. They go out more, but that has less to do with marriage than with interests and schedules. (I like getting up early!)

    But my sister has two kids, and while we talk about them and how adorable they are (they really are), we also just talk about stuff we always have.

    Anyway, I have started to feel older, for sure, but I also feel like there's lots of people in the same boat!
    My recent post State of the blog and T’s arm

  8. SP says:

    A lot of my friends are in different stages of life. My friends from home have all been married + house for years and just started adding the babies. I don't regularly see them anymore, too far away :( Most my friends out here are unmarried, but I still relate very well to them. Sure, T and I are married, but we still rent, still don't have kids, still do pretty much the same things. They go out more, but that has less to do with marriage than with interests and schedules. (I like getting up early!)

    But my sister has two kids, and while we talk about them and how adorable they are (they really are), we also just talk about stuff we always have.

    Anyway, I have started to feel older, for sure, but I also feel like there's lots of people in the same boat!
    My recent post State of the blog and T’s arm

  9. hithatsmybike says:

    I guess I'm juvenile because I don't quite feel this yet, even though I'm 25 this month. I watched the first season of Jersey Shore, I like pop culture, I participate in most of the present fashion trends (well, the ones for 20-somethings, not for teenagers — they're dressing so weird these days)

    I keep expecting to feel grown up and it's not happening.

  10. hithatsmybike says:

    I guess I'm juvenile because I don't quite feel this yet, even though I'm 25 this month. I watched the first season of Jersey Shore, I like pop culture, I participate in most of the present fashion trends (well, the ones for 20-somethings, not for teenagers — they're dressing so weird these days)

    I keep expecting to feel grown up and it's not happening.

  11. L@Spillingbuckets says:

    I hear ya. 100% agree.

    We often joke that we are mentally more like grandparents than ‘millenials’ (i.e. we go to bed at 11 but are up at 6, make our own food, are paying off our mortgage, go for long walks, don’t have cable, are planning for retirement…)

    Unfortunately a lot of friends haven’t “caught up” with us yet, and we often have little to talk about. I hope that changes soon, I enjoy being a grown up, but I don’t like losing friends because we lose commonality.
    My recent post Consumer to Producer- Our Evolving Philosophy

  12. L@Spillingbuckets says:

    I hear ya. 100% agree.

    We often joke that we are mentally more like grandparents than ‘millenials’ (i.e. we go to bed at 11 but are up at 6, make our own food, are paying off our mortgage, go for long walks, don’t have cable, are planning for retirement…)

    Unfortunately a lot of friends haven’t “caught up” with us yet, and we often have little to talk about. I hope that changes soon, I enjoy being a grown up, but I don’t like losing friends because we lose commonality.
    My recent post Consumer to Producer- Our Evolving Philosophy

  13. Daddy Paul says:

    Rarely I feel much older than 58, but most of the time I feel juvenile. Like Tom Petty says you never slow down you never grow old. Exercise, eat healthy and have fun and you will feel like life has just begun.
    My recent post Market Timing Signal 11-06-2010

  14. Daddy Paul says:

    Rarely I feel much older than 58, but most of the time I feel juvenile. Like Tom Petty says you never slow down you never grow old. Exercise, eat healthy and have fun and you will feel like life has just begun.
    My recent post Market Timing Signal 11-06-2010

  15. nancy (moneycoach) says:

    I don't think that ever goes away! I remember when I was in my early 20s (many, many years ago now!) feeling like folks in their 40s were really old, and had it together and were wise etc. Now that I'm one of those people, I find I can talk as easily, as peers, to many of my 20-something colleagues as I can to the near-retirement folks.
    My recent post In which a fellow blogger- educated- smart- is 1 in 500 to apply on a job

  16. nancy (moneycoach) says:

    I don't think that ever goes away! I remember when I was in my early 20s (many, many years ago now!) feeling like folks in their 40s were really old, and had it together and were wise etc. Now that I'm one of those people, I find I can talk as easily, as peers, to many of my 20-something colleagues as I can to the near-retirement folks.
    My recent post In which a fellow blogger- educated- smart- is 1 in 500 to apply on a job

  17. LC says:

    Your post, as well as Fab Broke's, make me want to write one of my own… but almost the opposite.

    You're not old. You just have different priorities. Great ones :)

  18. LC says:

    Your post, as well as Fab Broke's, make me want to write one of my own… but almost the opposite.

    You're not old. You just have different priorities. Great ones :)

  19. Don't worry – I'm right with you on that feeling. I did a post on the same thing on my blog and linked back to you! I'm 25 today.
    My recent post Im Old

  20. Don't worry – I'm right with you on that feeling. I did a post on the same thing on my blog and linked back to you! I'm 25 today.
    My recent post Im Old

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