Living normally
People are treating me differently now that I’m unemployed. My sister seems to think that I am automatically poor. She questioned whether I should have come home this weekend since it would cost money, when I went to the coffee shop that she works at, she gave me a ton of things for free, and she asked if I wanted to sell our Our Lady Peace concert tickets to try and make some cash. Friends give me that sympathetic “something will come up soon” speech. My friend asked if going out for dinner was okay for us to do… even my my mom, whom I have never asked to borrow money from before, asked if I needed any cash to get by – not that I would EVER take money from her. My dad even asked if I wanted to move home, then tried to slip me a $20 (which I refused). It’s just weird. It’s as if being unemployed means I’m suddenly one step away from living out of a cardboard box.
And I know that everybody means well, and none of them actually know my financial situation, so for all they know, I could really be struggling. It’s just strange. I totally appreciate their thoughtfulness, but I don’t want them to worry about me. After all, I’ve only been out of work for one week, I’m living off of severance pay, and hopefully my EI claim gets approved (if it doesn’t, I will throw a serious shit fit).
I’m not going to get all depressed and mopey like the last time I was unemployed. I’m in a good position financially, and will curb my discretionary spending. We will eat more at home now that we have a stove, I’m saving on gas because I don’t have to drive to work anymore, and any sort of entertainment BF and I do will be free – walking, hiking, skiing, playing board games, etc. It’s easy to cut down on spending if you have to. Getting out of debt and being unemployed before have taught me those valuable skills.
23 Responses to “Living normally”
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I think it’s nice (if, yes, weird) that people are trying to help out and be mindful of your financial situation. Just let them know that you have some savings and will be okay.
When a friend of mine wanted to take us to dinner to say goodbye, I knew her boyfriend was unemployed and Tim was suggesting a place that, while not horribly pricey, would come out to around $80 or more for 4 people. I knew they had some savings, he was getting unemployment and she was still working full-time. Even so, I felt the need to ask politely if a place that averaged $20/person (or more) would be okay, given the recent financial tumult. She assured me it would be fine, but she seemed touched that I thought to ask.
So I think people are just trying to be considerate. And, really, nothing wrong with a sibling throwing lots of free loot your way! So long as it doesn’t get her in trouble at work.
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I think it’s nice (if, yes, weird) that people are trying to help out and be mindful of your financial situation. Just let them know that you have some savings and will be okay.
When a friend of mine wanted to take us to dinner to say goodbye, I knew her boyfriend was unemployed and Tim was suggesting a place that, while not horribly pricey, would come out to around $80 or more for 4 people. I knew they had some savings, he was getting unemployment and she was still working full-time. Even so, I felt the need to ask politely if a place that averaged $20/person (or more) would be okay, given the recent financial tumult. She assured me it would be fine, but she seemed touched that I thought to ask.
So I think people are just trying to be considerate. And, really, nothing wrong with a sibling throwing lots of free loot your way! So long as it doesn’t get her in trouble at work.
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Sounds like they don’t read your blog. :)
Sounds like they don’t read your blog. :)
LOL — I haven’t heard the expression “shit fit” in YEARS — thanks for the unexpected laugh! :)
LOL — I haven’t heard the expression “shit fit” in YEARS — thanks for the unexpected laugh! :)
They all sound very well meaning and thoughtful, even if, as you say, they don’t really know your whole financial situation. Perhaps all the recent economic difficulties have made people, as whole, more attuned?
You sound incredibly level headed and I hope this round of unemployment is shorter than last time, as well as less anxious.
They all sound very well meaning and thoughtful, even if, as you say, they don’t really know your whole financial situation. Perhaps all the recent economic difficulties have made people, as whole, more attuned?
You sound incredibly level headed and I hope this round of unemployment is shorter than last time, as well as less anxious.
It's nice that you have a wonderful family that cares about you and wants to support you! I hope you find the right job for you soon. Good luck!
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I’m not sure if the economic crisis is as bad in Canada as it is in America (because here it’s downright horrible), but I think it’s awesome your family & friends are showing concern and support for you. They probably see that you just bought an expensive stove, a new car, have a more expensive phone plan, etc and get worried that any savings you have might run out. I’d just thank them for the concern and reassure them that you’re OK financially right now.
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I’m not sure if the economic crisis is as bad in Canada as it is in America (because here it’s downright horrible), but I think it’s awesome your family & friends are showing concern and support for you. They probably see that you just bought an expensive stove, a new car, have a more expensive phone plan, etc and get worried that any savings you have might run out. I’d just thank them for the concern and reassure them that you’re OK financially right now.
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Since you don’t share your blog with your family, they don’t have a full understanding of your financial situation and that you have an Efund. Rather than getting upset by it, realize that it is touching that they care and are worried enough to ask if you need help or to change plans. Especially with your friends. Often times, those that loose their job and have less income have to forgo fun things and friends are not understanding of this. You are blessed to be surrounded by caring people. I think that is great, rather than something to be upset about.
It's not something I'm upset about, it's just something that I wish didn't have to happen…
Since you don’t share your blog with your family, they don’t have a full understanding of your financial situation and that you have an Efund. Rather than getting upset by it, realize that it is touching that they care and are worried enough to ask if you need help or to change plans. Especially with your friends. Often times, those that loose their job and have less income have to forgo fun things and friends are not understanding of this. You are blessed to be surrounded by caring people. I think that is great, rather than something to be upset about.
Like you said, they’re just concerned and trying to be sensitive. Just tell them that you’re okay and have some emergency money for cases like these and that you appreciate them worrying. Once you give them the nod, they’ll be less tippy-toed sensitive around you.
Like you said, they’re just concerned and trying to be sensitive. Just tell them that you’re okay and have some emergency money for cases like these and that you appreciate them worrying. Once you give them the nod, they’ll be less tippy-toed sensitive around you.
of course everyone was just trying to be considerate and i know they meant well, but i’d imagine it was rather annoying in a way. i know you’re smart and you wont go out and be frivilous with your cash, especially when you are unemployed (which i’m sure won’t last forever!). :)
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of course everyone was just trying to be considerate and i know they meant well, but i’d imagine it was rather annoying in a way. i know you’re smart and you wont go out and be frivilous with your cash, especially when you are unemployed (which i’m sure won’t last forever!). :)
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I experienced something similar (and still get it half the time) when everyone started finding out I was unemployed. The first thing my mom told me (literally) was "you can move back into the house if you want"….which I guess was well-meaning, but it made me feel completely incompetent. After that, when talking to someone close to me I'd automatically add "I'm currently unemployed….but don't worry, I have savings". Which, thinking back sounds a bit weird, and borderline boastful, but I don't want everyone treating me strangely.
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Yeah I find it really uncomfortable to add "I've got savings in the bank that I can live off of." It really makes me feel like I'm being smug or something? I don't know. But it's better to let them know you have money in the bank, then have them think you're one step away from homelessness I guess. Either way, makes me feel dumb.
Honestly, most people would be one week away from living in a cardboard box… I know I would. I think since this is the situation for the majority of people, then it's not assumed that someone has been able to save and will be okay for awhile. I hope to be where you are, financially, one day. :)
You know, I actually really did tack that on whenever I spoke to anyone during unemployment. It was always: oh but I'll be ok, I'm being careful with my money and I had some time to prepare. So as not to either come off as boastful or broke/needing their assistance. It must not feel weird anymore because I've had so much practice. :)
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On second thought, it's ironic that the people who should have been worried about my loss of a job because they're dependent on my income, never once asked me if we'd be ok for money. Huh.
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