What to do with my time
I am not the kind of person who can just sit around and enjoy time off. I need to be doing something. I need to feel productive. I haven’t enjoyed any of this time off, because I know I could be working and earning a living. I’m not concerned about my current financial situation, but I am definitely concerned about not being able to save money. Always stressed out about something. My head never stops calculating and contemplating. BF says to relax, but he’s an easy-going person by nature. Me? Not easy-going. I like guidelines, goals, and structure.
When BF leaves for work every morning, I could clean up the house. I could do the dishes, scrub the floors, clean the shower. But I don’t. Those kinds of activities, done during the day, just signify that I don’t have a job to go to. It’s totally a mental thing. I haven’t even watched TV yet. And the weather has been too crummy for me to get out on day hikes … although, I could see myself going skiing next week if the cold weather keeps up. Grouse got 32 cm of new snow over the past 24 hours. Not enough yet, considering they pretty much lost their entire snow base. But if it keeps up, definitely.
Anyway, every day I’ve given myself a few tasks to complete during the day. Go to the post office. Return the DVD rental. Pick up some groceries. All which usually take less than an hour. Then what? Search for a job? Maybe. Can’t do anything that costs money because I don’t have any. The small amount of friends I have are working during the day. Go for a run? Sure. But I can’t run all day. So then what? Somehow I remember the last time I was unemployed, I went through the same thing. So anxious. So bored. So wanting to just get on with it and find another job right away. I want this time to be different. I want to find a great job; one that fits me perfectly. But do I really have it in me to wait that long?
I want to make peace with the fact that I was fired, but I can’t. It still feels really wrong, and I get angry every time I think about it. I would never want to go back and work for that organization, after how I was treated. Because I know I’m better than that. But it still gets to me. And I suppose it should, since it’s only been 3 days since it happened.
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i'm on disability leave because of cancer right now which on the days i do feel ok leaves me with a ton of free time. i've got a little schedule for the morning: breakfast, dishes/laundry, work out and then i also saw this idea on the web a few weeks ago to make a possibilities calendar that you fill in with classes, museum events, movies, etc type things you want to do so that when you're totally bored you can look at it for something to do.
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My heart goes out to you! This sucks. Several of my close friends have recently gone through similar things. Here's what worked best for them.
1) allow yourself time to feel bad, angry, upset, pick a set amount of time.
2) then, come up with projects that build your resume/get you out the door. Volunteer – some of the best breaks come from industry contacts who volunteer for the same projects. Attend free University lectures in your field or seminars to help build your own business. Think of ways to upgrade your skill set so you can talk about it at the interview (learn a new program, etc.). Treat your "work day" like a work day, e.g. for six hours a day, you will do things to develop yourself or make/renew contacts.
3) Make a list of everything at your last job that was holding you back – bad coworkers, less than good projects, a long commute, whatever. Stop focusing on how losing this job has blocked your goals (saving), and start to recognize how losing that job has created opportunity. You're lucky – you didn't lose your dream job, you lost a job you didn't like all the time with bad coworkers and short sighted management.
You’ve only been unemployed for like FOUR DAYS! So my advice to you is to RELAX. I know that does not come naturally to you, but perhaps this is a good time in life to practice. And by relax I don’t mean sit around on the couch eating bonbons. I mean focusing on the things that emotionally fulfill and sustain you and/or finding NEW things that do so.
For example….why not volunteer? You could easily find an organization that would benefit from and greatly appreciate 10-20 hours per week of your time if you really feel THAT strongly about staying busy.
You’ve only been unemployed for like FOUR DAYS! So my advice to you is to RELAX. I know that does not come naturally to you, but perhaps this is a good time in life to practice. And by relax I don’t mean sit around on the couch eating bonbons. I mean focusing on the things that emotionally fulfill and sustain you and/or finding NEW things that do so.
For example….why not volunteer? You could easily find an organization that would benefit from and greatly appreciate 10-20 hours per week of your time if you really feel THAT strongly about staying busy.
You've only been unemployed for like FOUR DAYS! So my advice to you is to RELAX. I know that does not come naturally to you, but perhaps this is a good time in life to practice. And by relax I don't mean sit around on the couch eating bonbons. I mean focusing on the things that emotionally fulfill and sustain you and/or finding NEW things that do so.
Why not try volunteering? I'm sure there are dozens of organizations in Vancouver that would benefit from (and greatly appreciate) your skills. You might even get a new job out of it.
I can so relate to this because I felt a lot of the same emotions after I was laid off last year. It can be really hard to make that structure for yourself after it's taken away from you. And that wound is still fresh, no wonder you can't just get over it — what they did to you really sucked!
I think you're doing a good job what with trying to make yourself tasks to do during the day, a lot of people would just flop on the couch for at least a solid week. Is there some big project you have been putting off, like (I'm making these up here) learning a new program or language or mastering some kind of skill? Maybe since you got your new stove you could try to cook something new and complicated. If making guidelines and goals is what gets you energized, then definitely do that.
I can so relate to this because I felt a lot of the same emotions after I was laid off last year. It can be really hard to make that structure for yourself after it's taken away from you. And that wound is still fresh, no wonder you can't just get over it — what they did to you really sucked!
I think you're doing a good job what with trying to make yourself tasks to do during the day, a lot of people would just flop on the couch for at least a solid week. Is there some big project you have been putting off, like (I'm making these up here) learning a new program or language or mastering some kind of skill? Maybe since you got your new stove you could try to cook something new and complicated. If making guidelines and goals is what gets you energized, then definitely do that.
The gift of nothing is precious – if you aren't pressed to "make money now" then take a little time for yourself. You'll soon be busy enough. Let your mind clear of what is bothering you. Perhaps just start the day with, "what do I want to do today". How many people really get to do that? What did you want to do that you couldn't when you were working?
If you like guidelines, goals and structure, then set a few of those in place. Personal and professional. Once, when I was a biologist, my wife asked me, "If you could work on any animal, what would it be?". I answered quickly, from my heart, and we set about to making it happen. It was amazing and guided our life for the next few years. Whatever your passion is, if you could do it, what would it be? You can find a way to make it happen.
Remember we live in a first-world country. Money comes easy. Opportunities abound. So far, time is on our side, so feel free to revel in it a bit, then you can get back to real life. Or perhaps find a new direction and follow that.
Heard about your being let go – now reading your comments here, what an awful way for the company to proceed behind your back! Sounds like this is a great opportunity to work for a more equitable, transparent place. I know what you mean about not being able to relax or watch TV yet, etc. – but just think, soon you'll have a job again and it will be back to the grind – might as well soak up the "free" time as much as you can now, too. Fit in something you normally wouldn't be able to do during the day, maybe.
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