A few words I need to say
This post is in response to Fabulously Broke, who wrote this post, on one of her other blogs, Style on a String. On this blog, she posts pictures of some of her favourite outfits – and more than once, she has been insulted because of the way she looks – how she does her nails, how her body isn’t a certain way. It’s just downright rude.
I definitely think there has been some sort of switch that has been flipped. All of a sudden, bloggers everywhere are being attacked by commenters. Rude, vicious, vindictive commenters who, instead of giving constructive criticism, decide to personally attack the authour of whatever blog they are reading.
Whatever happened to the days when people were nice to others on the internet? To this day, I have never ever written a nasty comment on anybody’s blog. And I would never write something that I wouldn’t have the courage to say to their face.
Blogs are written by human beings with feelings. That is the appeal about them. Every day you can glimpse into their lives and how they think and see things through their eyes. Just because you can’t see them in real life, and just because you don’t have face-to-face interaction, doesn’t mean they should be treated like they are less than human.
If you are chatting with a friend about something you don’t agree with, or you don’t like what they are wearing, or you think they’re fat, or you think they’re doing something completely stupid … would you ever talk to them and use the same words on them, as you would when typing a comment on a blog? Probably not. Chances are, you would spent time thinking about the best, most constructive way, to give them advice. And you certainly wouldn’t attack who they are as a person, or their integrity as a human being. Because that would be mean.
Clearly this blog has had its fair share of nasty comments. People go out of their way to try and put me down – to make me feel like I’m less of a person, to tell me I’m stupid, to tell me that I’m wasting my money, my life, my time, etc. When I started this blog, and I received my first nasty comment, I nearly cried. Why would someone take the time to write such mean things to a stranger!? But supportive, kind, constructive comments always outweighed the nasty ones. And I built a thicker skin.
I have never put comment moderation on this blog because I encourage discussions. I like hearing opinions, and I enjoy constructive criticism. Obviously because I write this blog and it’s up on the internet for the world to read, everybody is entitled to their own opinion. I understand that by having this blog, I have to be open to criticism and the occasional negative comment. If you don’t agree with me, of course I want to hear what you have to say! But there’s no need to attack me as a person. You don’t actually know who I am. You just know the snippets of my life that I’m choosing to share and make public. I make decisions and spend my money how I see fit – and if someone feels the need to spend the time personally attacking my integrity, my opinions, and my decisions in a vicious way, go right ahead. But life is short. Is your time really best spent on the internet, trying to insult someone you’ll never meet?
I’m not afraid of rude, ridiculously mean comments anymore. I don’t delete any of them either because I don’t care. I just think it’s pathetic.
Please remember that blogging is about supportive, healthy, and positive discussion. These blogs are written by human beings; most likely by people who have the courage to talk about topics in such a way that you wouldn’t dream of doing yourself. Put yourself in their shoes, and think about what it would feel like to be beaten down and criticized like that – especially when they are sharing so much with the world, and are vulnerable because of it.
So please leave your harsh criticisms and your judgment at the door. Thanks. :)
11 Responses to “A few words I need to say”
Author comments are in a darker gray color for you to easily identify the posts in the comments
Leave a Reply
As seen in…
Recent Comments
- Ashley on Why I chose to live in a 215 sq. ft. apartment
- Kendra L on Why I chose to live in a 215 sq. ft. apartment
- Andrew on Contest: File your taxes for free online with H&R Block
- Mayda on Contest: File your taxes for free online with H&R Block
- Nancy on Contest: File your taxes for free online with H&R Block
Categories
- annual goals (23)
- banking (26)
- blog (190)
- budget (96)
- car (41)
- contest (26)
- credit card (19)
- credit score (10)
- debt (27)
- design business (37)
- down payment (28)
- education (14)
- EI (16)
- emergency fund (18)
- entertainment (194)
- fitness (165)
- guest post (19)
- health care (56)
- housing (56)
- investing (43)
- job (297)
- making money (55)
- miscellaneous (306)
- monthly challenge (52)
- monthly goals (112)
- motivation (34)
- property (43)
- recipes and food (27)
- relationship (117)
- retirement (30)
- saving money (174)
- scooter (24)
- spending (446)
- sponsored post (9)
- tax refund (22)
- travel (300)
- vlog (2)
- weekly spending recap (78)
Oh come on, it's like you're begging for nasty comments with this one.
You know what it is. People are waaaaaaaay too serious with life. There is no need to be like them.
Though, this reminds me of the comic strips (see the link)… Maybe we all need an "Internet Happy Box".
http://www.transfertrash.com/foyer-f1/internet-happy-box-t667.htm
The Internet has made it way to easy to think that your responding to a post or a comment and not an actual person. Notice that a lot of drivers behind the wheel of a car act this way too. They cut off or flip off another car, which makes it a lot easier to be a jerk than if they were considering that there's a person behind the wheel of said car.
Good post, but unfortunately I don't see it changing a lot because the people that you're directing it to will not think for a second that it's actually directed at them.
Well said. I'm amazed how mean some people can be. I just can't get over how miserable they must be to go around leaving nasty comments on blogs. Seriously people. Grow up.
I'm totally with you on having never left a comment I wouldn't feel free saying to the person's face. I think it's fine to disagree with someone but you can disagree nicely.
Good for you – I am actually shocked a lot of the time at the mean stuff people write on here, and the fact that they go out of their way to do so. It's mostly pathetic, but know that it's not personal, and is more likely a result of either jealousy or dissatisfaction with their own selves/lives.
Mean comments? Yes, I don't like receiving those either and don't leave them. Critical comments? I leave them sometimes. I always triple check what I wrote and make sure I would also say to someone's face what I wrote when it's critical in nature.
Sometimes the tone in comments can "sound" like one thing when the author meant it to sound completely different as well.
Thankfully I have yet to receive a mean comment, but I have definitely stumbled upon some pretty nasty ones on other blogs. People are too uptight, too serious. If you disagree, move on! If you simply can't, then leave a tasteful critique that won't hurt anyone's feelings.
:)
It's pretty ridiculous – and you're right it seems like it's been increasing lately!
Thanks for sharing. I feel like people hide behind their computer and rip people for fun (or they really think they are doing people a favor). Or their wives got sick of their endless banter and bought them a laptop. Hah. Happy blogging
K, grow up! Bloggers want attention and they are getting it. Why don't you read in post on CNN or a major site. You will see lots of opposing views expressed negatively. Just accept these people the way they are.
I absolutely agree that you can't always tell the tone of something that's said via email/text/comment/etc. Sometimes you just have to be more aware of what you're saying when it's not f2f.
That said, YEARS ago when I used my Live Journal religously to talk out stuff, I got downright HATEFUL comments. Not just, "I don't agree", truly ugly things. Unfortunately they were people I did know IRL, not anonymous readers or trolls, but it hurts just the same.