Not sure about this weekend anymore

I’m really struggling with the idea of going home this weekend. I told my sister that if I had to work, I’d be there for sure. And I definitely will. But if the PT job didn’t need me, I told her I’d come anyway. Now, I kind of regret saying that.

Lately I’ve been spending way way way too much money. I inputted all of my receipts over the past few weeks, and I doubt I’ll be able to save anything this month. Right now I’m already over budget for April, and we’re only halfway through the month. Granted, my April budget didn’t account for my trip to Idaho (which I obviously didn’t end up taking, but we spent all the money we had planned on spending anyway), or the trip home last weekend to be with family after the accident. I also treated my sister to most meals last weekend – partly because she’s my sister and she rarely comes over to see me, but mostly because I felt like the crappiest person in the world for getting into such a stupid accident and ruining our trip. All of those expenses came last weekend, and probably came out to about $700. Maybe $800. And that doesn’t even include any of the crash-related expenses. Ouch.

So much for April being an on-budget month. And May won’t be any better, because once BF sorts everything out, I’ll just hand over a bunch of money to whoever I owe to. Probably just to him.

But, like I’ve said all along, what really matters is that nobody is hurt. It’s just money, and that’s what my Emergency Fund is there for. I’m not going into debt because of this, and I cannot imagine what I would have done if this had happened to me a few years ago.

It’s funny how people always say that these kinds of things put life into perspective, but I didn’t really understand until now. The crash was at speed (over 80 km/hr), and we could have easily died. Like the police officer said at the scene, it was an absolute miracle nobody was hurt. I am so thankful to have someone as warm and caring and understanding as BF in my life, and friends and family that love me unconditionally.

So, maybe I will go home after all.