It’s time to stop being afraid
I’m stressing out over work, because my 3-month probation period is up next month and I don’t think I truly fit in with the people and the atmosphere here. My boss talked to me today behind closed doors about opening up and showing more personality. I can understand where she’s coming from; since I started here, I’ve been quiet and reserved, and this is not a company for anyone who’s shy. Everyone is very outgoing and they’re not afraid to speak up.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because I’m trying to fit in, but I’m not the type of person who is overly outgoing, especially not at work. I think perhaps having a corporate government background plays a part in how I act in the work place, and also I think it’s weird to be delegating work out to people more senior than me … but it’s also my personality to want to be reserved and professional. I’ve always been a leader by example, I guess. And I have good ideas, but for some reason I keep my mouth shut during meetings and I let everyone else talk. It’s always been that way, and it seems that I get lost in a large group setting. I’ve always known that I’m better off in smaller group situations. But isn’t living life about stepping outside your comfort zone?
My boss is right. This is not an entry-level position. I’m in communications, so I should be able to communicate with anyone. And it’s not like I’m not getting the job done – it’s just that I need to become more open and proactive; more take-charge. I don’t want anyone to second-guess the decision to hire me, and my boss knows my desire to move up within the organization.
It’s time to break through the wall, really focus in on letting my personality shine, and stop being afraid to express myself at work.
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[...] Ever since my closed door meeting with my boss, I think I’ve improved a lot in the way I carry myself at work. I’m taking baby steps outside of my comfort zone, and one of the directors commented that she’s glad I’m coming out of my shell. I’ve made friends, and I’m sociable with them … and I feel like I can joke and talk with anyone in the office. That being said, I’m not sure if it’s going to be enough. I haven’t really connected (or even had a real conversation) with the President, and I remember my boss telling me that we all live and die by what the President thinks of us … without that personal connection to her, I feel like I’m easily disposable. [...]